


Food Fight

by Truth



Category: Ouran High School Host Club
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-07-18
Updated: 2006-07-18
Packaged: 2017-10-14 06:37:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/146436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Truth/pseuds/Truth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lunchtime had always been Haruhi’s favorite time of day. The rich kids were down in the cafeteria eating duck under glass or whatever other expensive delicacies the chefs had prepared for their high class and educated palates, leaving her alone in the classroom with her bento.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Food Fight

**Author's Note:**

> Blatant references to homosexual incest made by high-school aged characters.
> 
> This story was written for the [ Crossfandom Ficathon: What’s Your Filling ](http://technosage.livejournal.com/64214.html).

Lunchtime had always been Haruhi’s favorite time of day. The rich kids were down in the cafeteria eating duck under glass or whatever other expensive delicacies the chefs had prepared for their high class and educated palates, leaving her alone in the classroom with her bento.

 _Peace._

She would sometimes read during the lunch period, but after eating she generally spent the time quietly reviewing her homework. The Host Club ate up a large chunk of her after school time and she liked having relative privacy in which to do her studying before the commute home.

Lunchtime _used_ to be Haruhi’s favorite time of day.

Once she had accidentally let it slip that she ate alone in the classroom, Hikaru and Kaoru had started occasionally bringing lunches as well. That hadn’t been the death of her study time, however. Once they realized that she was serious about her studying, they left her more or less in peace. Their entirely ignoble purpose in joining her for lunch was to drive Tamaki completely insane by spending yet _more_ time with Haruhi by virtue of being in her class, while the junior was limited to the time she spent at the Host Club. This goal did not require disturbing her over much, save to occasionally dangle especially choice tidbits of their more extravagant lunches and offer to share; playing on her weakness for the richer, expensive foods that had always been out of her reach.

It was enjoyable enough, even if she didn’t get quite as much studying done as she had prior to their intervention. Even Tamaki’s occasional case of the sulks when he ‘happened’ to pass the classroom and see the three of them together afforded its own sort of amusement. He no longer attempted to insinuate himself into their lunchtime, after twice having been caught by the teacher and re-directed either to the cafeteria or his own classroom.

No, the real problem arose when the other girls in their class discovered that the twins and, by extension, Haruhi, were eating their lunches in the classroom. In a little under a day and a half, most of them were _also_ eating their lunches there, casting longing looks at what they assumed to be three desirable young men.

It was enough to put Haruhi off her food.

Hikaru on her left, Kaoru on her right and, as long as it had just been the three of them, the twins had been relatively well-behaved. With the arrival of the other girls, however, the twin’s almost insatiable need for amusement and diversion had surfaced with a vengeance.

“Oh, Hikaru….” Kaoru looked up from his elaborate and multi-layered bento box, obviously prepared by a professional chef and carefully loaded with the most exquisite delicacies. With a delicate flush to his cheeks, he glanced sideways, past Haruhi, at his twin.

Hikaru leapt to his feet, leaning over Haruhi’s desk, a look of alarm on his face. “Kaoru, you haven’t touched a bite of your lunch. Is something… is something wrong?” He reached out to touch Kaoru’s hand where it rested on the desk and lowered his voice. “I noticed last night that your sleep was restless….”

Kaoru flushed delicately and looked down at the array of goodies spread across his desk, each in their own careful arrangement. “N-no, Hikaru, when you are with me, I sleep,” as the flush deepened, “well. No, it’s not that. I’ve… somehow, I’ve misplaced my hashi.”

Haruhi shoved her own, modest lunch to one side and buried her face in her arms, not wanting to watch what was surely coming next even as the rest of the girls in the room stampeded to encircle her desk and Kaoru’s to watch, eyes wide and clutching happily at each other.

“Ah, Kaoru, your delicate sensibilities won’t allow anything other than correct behavior in front of our classmates.” Hikaru, obviously moved, reached back to snatch his own hashi from his desk without looking away from Kaoru. He held them up, reaching out with his other hand to grasp at his brother’s shoulder. “We will share.”

“Hikaru,” Kaoru flushed, eyes darting away. “We share everything at home but to offer so, so publicly….”

As the girls gathered close around them fought not to swoon, Hikaru swept up a piece of octopus from the nearest tray. “There is no reason to hide what we share, Kaoru,” he murmured. Reaching out, he caught Kaoru by the chin and drew him also over Haruhi’s desk. Leaning close, Hikaru stared deeply into Kaoru’s eyes and slowly extended the tiny piece of octopus until it brushed gently against his brother’s lips.

With a jarring scrape of wood, Haruki shoved her chair backward and rose abruptly to her feet. The twins broke apart with a startled yelp, causing their audience to sigh with disappointment. Face flushed with irritation and embarrassment, Haruhi reached into her bag and withdrew a small box. “Here,” she snapped, setting it on Kaoru’s desk with a thud and narrowly missing sending at least one of the artfully arranged bits of his lunch flying. “You don’t need hashi for this.”

The twins abandoned their play as if it had never occurred, leaving the hashi jammed at a strange angle in Kaoru’s rice to almost knock heads over the little box.

“Is it more commoner food?” One of the girls asked timidly. “Like that strange coffee?”

Haruhi clenched her teeth and reached up to straighten her tie. She’d been new to the school when she’d bought instant coffee on an errand for the Host Club, and it had somehow become a fad. “It’s a jelly doughnut,” she snapped.

“A pastry?” Kaoru and Hikaru gave her identical looks of surprise.

“I thought you didn’t like sweets?” Hikaru picked up the box and examined it closely.

Kaoru took hold of it from the opposite side, mirroring his twin’s pose and expression exactly. “This is from an expensive bakery, too.”

They both tipped their heads to look at Haruhi. “Where did you get this?” they asked.

Haruhi flushed even more darkly. “One of the customers at my father’s club brought them for all the ‘girls’.” She wasn’t ashamed of her father’s occupation, but everyone else in the room had fathers who were in charge of large corporations and the novelty of a parent who _worked_ for a living was not a subject she cared to have brought up.

“Ahhhh.” The twins exchanged a look rife with deviltry. Haruhi’s father’s occupation as a cross-dressing ‘hostess’ at a specialty bar was a constant source of low-key amusement, considering Haruhi’s own deception as member of an all male Host Club. “So, of course, he gave his to you.”

Ignoring their chorused comments, Haruhi extended an impatient hand. “If you don’t want it, Kaoru, I’ll have it back.”

It was immediately yanked out of her reach by both young men as they cradled it protectively between them. “It was a present,” Kaoru protested.

“It’s ours now,” Hikaru told her solemnly.

After all, a present from Haruhi, almost the only student at an exclusive and ludicrously expensive private school without her own fortune, was beyond rare. It was also a delicious opportunity to gloat about in front of Tamaki later and thus doubly precious.

Haruhi stared at them with suspicion. “I have a bad feeling about this….”

“What,” another girl asked timidly, tugging on a long braid of hair, “is a jelly doughnut?”

Hikaru and Kaoru exchanged a look of malicious glee, visible only to Haruhi, which sent her slumping back in her chair to again bury her face in her arms.

“It’s a confection,” Kaoru began, holding up the box as Hikaru flipped it open. “A pasty.”

“However,” Hikaru continued, gently tipping the box so that the round, sugar coated top could be easily seen, “it is not a light, delicate pastry such as _we_ are used to.”

“Rich, insensitive _bastards_ ,” came the muffled complaint from beneath Haruhi’s folded arms. They ignored her.

“So they are a commoner food then?” One of the girls asked bravely.

“An American thing, I believe,” Hikaru corrected her.

“One of our mother’s models used to sneak them in when there was a long photo shoot going on.” Kaoru rolled his eyes. “She got into trouble, of course, but that never stopped her for long.”

“It is a heavy, _fried_ confection,” Hikaru continued, lifting it from the tiny box and turning it so the girls could all see it clearly. “And the powdered sugar tends to flake….”

The doughnut was snatched from his hand by Kaoru, who turned it to show the small hole in one side, “And it is filled with a thick, highly sugared jelly.” He turned back to Hikaru, doughnut in one hand. “Hikaru,” an undisguised look of yearning crossed his face, to be replaced by a delicate flush, “would you share this with me?”

“We share everything,” Hikaru reminded him softly, stepping forward and reaching upward to touch his brother’s face.

“Ah!” Kaoru’s flush deepened slightly and he caught at Hikaru’s hand. “You’ve gotten sugar all over your fingers….”

Haruhi didn’t have to look up to know that Kaoru, doughnut ‘forgotten’ in one hand, was quietly licking Hikaru’s fingers clean. She banged her head gently on the desk as the swooning inrush of breath from the girls around them confirmed this. “Just _eat_ the thing, would you?” she grumbled. “The sooner, the better.”

“Kaoru….”

“Hikaru….”

There was a thud from the audience indicating a swoon and Haruhi decided that she had taken enough abuse for one day. Rising abruptly to her feet, she discovered, too late, that Hikaru had leaned Kaoru against her desk in order to stare soulfully into his eyes. Kaoru’s outflung hand, still holding the doughnut, had ended up directly above her and, as she rose, his hand tipped….

“Whoops,” was Hikaru’s somewhat unfeeling comment. He kept Kaoru tilted backward against the desk, one of his twin’s legs wrapped around his own for balance. Kaoru stared at their sugar-dusted classmate from his upside down position with a similar lack of sympathy, all playful attempts at seduction discarded.

Jelly doughnut sitting squarely atop her head, dark hair and expensive blazer liberally dusted with white sugar, Haruhi didn’t look at either of them, instead snatching her untouched bento box and upending it over Kaoru’s head.

Without a word, jelly doughnut still in place, she stalked over to Kaoru’s desk, swept up two of the box layers and jammed them together. The crowd of girls parted swiftly as she stalked toward the door, pausing only long enough to also gather up the rice with the hashi still sticking from it.

Behind her, she could hear the girls fussing over Kaoru’s state. Hikaru had raised his voice to be heard above the crowd, declaring that his twin would have to have a bath – administered by himself, naturally - which immediately caused another round of swooning. Gritting her teeth, Haruhi stomped from the room.

As the door closed behind her, Hikaru immediately released Kaoru. The brothers stood silently, allowing the hubbub of the chattering girls to wash over them as they looked after Haruhi.

“She took the doughnut,” Hikaru noted, frowning a little.

“Tamaki will get her another one.” Kaoru shrugged, brushing rice out of his hair. “He’ll probably end up wearing it.”

“Mmm.” Hikaru shook his head, glancing out of the corner of his eye at his twin, only to see the look returned.

Haruhi never stayed angry or exasperated for long, and class resumed without any complications. The Host Club met as usual, with no mention of doughnuts, and all was well. When her father asked about his gift, Haruhi flushed a little and explained that she’d shared the doughnut with her friends.

A new day began, lunchtime came and as Haruhi re-entered the classroom with her modest bento box, she was pleased to discover it completely deserted. Placed carefully on her desk was a box much like the one she’d upended over Kaoru’s head the day before and a familiar pastry box.

 _Peace._

With a small, delighted smile, she settled down to her lunch.


End file.
